=You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
=You can identify a negative "teeth to tattoo" ratio by just looking at a person.
=You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm.
=When someone calls you a prick/bitch you take it as a compliment.
=Your annual mileage deduction is more than your annual taxable income.
=You find humor in other people's stupidity.
=Your idea of a great Christmas present is a stun gun.
=You have your weekends off planned for a year.
=You do not see daylight from November to May.
=You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet around here."
=Your car has more paperwork in it than your office.
=You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
=Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
=You refer to clients as repeat customers rather than repeat offenders.
=Your kids take handcuffs to "Show and Tell."
=You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
=People quote “Dog, The Bounty Hunter” to you =clients have you on speed dial.
=A nap will get you high.
=You believe in involuntary sterilization.
=You believe coffee & chocolate are food groups.
=You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.
=You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.
=You dream of “accidentally” dropping your cell phone in the toilet.
=You walk into places and people think it high comedy to seize a co-worker and shout,
"They've come to get you Bill, Fred or...whoever".
=You keep a hat in the backseat of your car for “bad hair nights”.
=You can flick a business card to a defendant through the back window of a cop car while doing 75 mph on the interstate.
Dumb laws in Idaho
Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
You may not fish on a camel's back.
Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
In Seattle, Washington, you may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
FUNNY QUOTES
"I haven't commited a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law!" "A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation." Howard Scott.
"A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth." Patrick Murray.
“A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” Robert Frost
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day." Dean Martin.
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." Rita Mae Brown.
"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill." George W. Bush
